Responsive: Evaulation

The first thing we did as a group was sit down and come up with a wide range of ideas, even though it was evident from the start the story we would tell. We explored anyway, but the result was enviable, our film would concentrate on the personal and under looked by society subject of self-harm.

I will largely evaluate what my role was and what I brought to the group, to give an understanding of what I contributed and worked on. As did the rest of the group, we each looked at five films which were either true stories, like ours, our told the touching story of a character struggling with a personal issue. Mine were American Gangster, The Wrestler, Trainspotting, I’m not there, and the last King of Scotland. The one we took most inspiration from film making wise was The Wrestler, as it often uses tracking shots of the character and contains an emotional close up scene when the character confess’ his flaws, in a very well scripted and acted scene.

After looking at the moodboards, I produced some concept art of the character costumes, though they were already seen in photos making this a somewhat pointless exercise, I produced them anyway, but wasn’t overly found of them as I knew what I was doing wasn’t really worth while. It did however show the whole costume which some of the photographs didn’t, but in all honestly my time could’ve been better spent while doing this section, which we all came to realise after I had produced them.

I also looked at some audio considerations with Meg, writing up which songs would work best and why, either with relating lyrics or effective sound. Ultimately, we decided original sound would be best, so I got in contact with a musician (Tim Richards) I was recommended to recorded the track, liaised with him what kind of music we were looking for, sent him the animatic and let him know the deadline. We talked often to make sure the music was right and were very pleased with the final outcome, so much so he is now working on the audio development for our next project.

What I found my most difficult contribution was the planning. I was in charge of filming dates and organising locations, all apart from the Student Medical practice, which Callum organised. I got in contact with Stuart Harvey, a tutor on the foundation level at Leeds College of Art who was very helpful in helping organise and letting students know about our filming date and intentions, and to get in contact with us if they wished not to be filmed, he also added that my proposal was very professional and impressive. I then got in contact with the pub/night club Fab Café, so we could shoot in there. I organised this around a time that was more convenient for the managers, staff and customers of Fab Café. Finally, I organised a very tight schedule to film of a train, train station, and then four different areas of Hebden Bridge all to be in a day and arrive back in Leeds for the filming at the Student Medical Practice the following afternoon. I also produced full Method Statements for very shoot, including the cast, crew, times, dates, equipment list, prop list, and schedule for said shoot. I also produced risk assessments for each shoot but as I was the leading actor, many of the risks related to me (such as giving myself a paper-cut), which I knew I as comfortable with, but these also considered damage to college property, and risks that could affect crew.

The last and one of the most pivotal roles I played was being the lead actor. Our director wanted pure honesty, many of the cast were already the same people who were actually there, but as he wanted to concentrate on directing and capturing the imagery perfectly from behind the camera, he wanted me to act as past him as we are twins and look very similar, so this would not jeopardise the fact that what is displayed on screen will show visually what exactly happened.

Taking this role was something I did without second thought but doubted later. I am not an actor, and only have experience in films I’ve made, that have never required this degree of emotion. Also, if my performance was not convincing I could ruin a very personal film that Callum wanted, with good reason, to be made perfectly. I practiced some of the things I would have to do, but as there was no dialogue it did made my job infinitely easier. I looked at some actors I felt excelled in acting with subtly facial expressions, such as Michael Fassbender in Shame, though he doesn’t say much his emotions are clear. Though my performance was not nearly this standard, it did help try to bring a performance that was worthy.

Thought some scene were easier than others, physically on of the hardest was the fight scene, as choreographing had to be changed on location as it looked unrealistic, and started with my back to the other actor, so I couldn’t see where the punch would be exactly coming from. But there were worse ones. The scene where his wounds are revealed to a girl at a party required subtle expressions of shame, embarrassment, humiliation, sadness and anger. Naturally I managed to make my eyes water, and I think this was one of the best acted scene, only second to the next. The bathroom scene was the most difficult. Silly as it sounds, we had a plate of chopped onion as they makes my eyes water, so between cuts I would smell onion to make them water, but after a while this seemed to loose effect for a reason unknown, perhaps my sinuses became accustomed to the smell, and the tears rolled less. I’d like to pretend they were all well acted and faked but it would be a lie.

In conclusion, this ambitious twelve minute film I feel has been our strongest yet. It has been extremely well received, and we’ve had a huge amount of positive feedback, sometimes even from people we don’t know. This gives me the confidence to send this to self-harm charities to help raise awareness, but this decision I would ultimately leave to our director, as it is his story to tell. I am extremely proud of our group and friends for making it possible, including all the special thanks to outside resources for letting us film in certain locations. Everyone involved has worked very hard to have this story told right and put in more than the required time. Everyone has been very respectful of the subject, although me and Callum seem only to be able to makes jokes of the situation in all honesty to hide the fact that its not something we like to discuss.